9 Tips to Find the Perfect Baby Name

It’s one of the first things people will ask you when they find out you’re expecting a baby, and most of us have thought about what we’d name our baby at least once in our lives (and others of us have been making lists of baby names we like since we could pick up a pen. Ahem, me). And now, the time has finally come - you’re having a baby, and you need to find the perfect baby name! While picking a name for your baby is super exciting, it’s also kind of a lot of pressure - you are choosing what a human being is going to be called their whole lives, or at least, until they are able to tell you otherwise. And if you have a wife/husband/partner/significant other/co-parent you’re having the baby with, you have to take into consideration what they like, too, which could be even more complicated. I feel so lucky to have a partner with the same taste in baby names, and it was still a process to land on a name (and several back up names) that we both loved enough to write down on a very official birth certificate. What my wife and I found helpful when it came time to finding the perfect baby name was not focusing solely on names, and so we’re here to share our 9 tips to find the perfect baby name for your baby.

1. What’s your baby name style?

First things first - what’s your baby name style? Make a list of ten or so names that you like, whether they are just names you’ve been fond of your whole life, or names you’re considering naming your baby. Don’t overthink your list of names - I’m not going to make you pick one of these names as the name, I promise. This is part of the exercise to find the perfect baby name for your baby. You’ll use these names to help notice patterns for your likes and dislikes that will lead you to the perfect baby name. You’ll probably notice a theme emerge - are they all timeless and classic baby names like William, Olivia, or Lucille? Are they trendy baby names like Asher, Sawyer, or Grayson? Does your list look more like a bunch of random words than what people would consider unique baby names, like Story, True, or Ocean? Do you like “grandparent” baby names like Arlo, Mable, or Henrietta? Or maybe gender neutral baby names or unisex baby names are your jam, like Charlie, Johnnie, or Finnegan? No matter what style of baby names you like, figuring out your style can be a great way to hone in on the types of names you like for your child.

2. Does it Flow?

Now that you’ve narrowed down your style, think about your last name. Take that list of names and you made and add your last name to each of them. Say each of them out loud. You may notice when you pair some of the names with your last name, they won’t have a great flow, and they may suddenly fall right off of your list. Again, it’s time to look for a pattern to figure out what you didn’t like about the flow of the full baby name. Do the names you like have anything in common? Some things to consider with the flow of your baby name are the amount of syllables in the first name and the last name. Do you like a really long name, or do you prefer something short and sweet? If you have a long last name, but like to keep things simple, you may want to focus on baby names with one syllable, like Lee, Jade, King, or Gus. Or maybe you prefer a lot of flare and over the top baby names, so choosing a baby name with two or more syllables may give the lasting impression you’re hoping for like, Delilah, Juniper, or Hamilton. Another thing to keep in mind is the commonality of your last name. If it’s something like Smith, Jones, or Brown, you may want to something a little more unique so they aren’t one of a million John Smiths - or maybe, you love that! Lastly, are there certain letters or sounds you’re noticing that you like? I realized really quickly into our name picking process that I liked names that started with ‘S’ and ended with an “E” or “Y” sound. That made it easier to discover the perfect baby name.

3. What are the Initials?

I have a thing for initials, probably because when my mom was younger, she had a side hustle creating baby announcements for people. When I was little, she told me about a friend who was 7 months pregnant and dead set on a name - Arthur Simon Sullivan. She was always really careful to be supportive of her clients and say, “That’s a wonderful name", whether she truly liked it or not. But as she crafted this baby announcement, she couldn’t help but see the awful initials this baby was going to be stuck with. Had no one noticed the initials were A.S.S.? My mom decided she would gently point out the initials by making a complimentary three initial monogrammed ornament for the baby…and that did the trick. The mom-to-be’s eyes widened as she exclaimed, “I need to change the middle name!” Little Arthur Simon became Arthur James Sullivan right then and there. If you haven’t picked a middle name yet, or the middle name was the easy part that’s set in stone, consider what the baby’s initials will spell out. I have a name that I absolutely love, but unfortunately, it would leave my kiddo with the initials P.N.S., which is bad on its own and somehow feels particularly laughable in a two mom family. The alternate middle name option started with an “O”, which would make the initials P.O.S. which, at the very least is just as bad as the first, if not worse. The conclusion, no P names for the first name for our kids!

4. What are the Nicknames?

This is another thing that I wish more parents would consider when picking a baby name. A lot of parents-to-be are just sure they are going to call their baby by their given name, but with sleep deprivation, house chores, work, and full adult lives, chances are, Constance is going be called by something quicker and shorter, like Connie or Con. And just like the initials, when you shorten some names, the nicknames aren’t exactly awesome, or, you may just not like the shortened version. For example, you may love the name Genesis but hate the name Gen/Jen or Genny/Jenny, but realistically, once your kid hits school age, their teachers and friends aren’t going to say Genesis every time. So think about the nicknames for the names on your list. And just like the initials, make sure you’re not setting your kid up with a nickname that’s easy to be made fun of because, unfortunately, kids can be cruel.

5. What does it Rhyme with?

This goes hand in hand with what are the nicknames. Make sure you’re not setting your baby up for a lifetime of easy jokes. I love the name Summer, but all I think of is “bummer”. Same with Lucas and “mucus”. For this part let your inner poet/childhood bully, help you avoid giving your baby a name that’s an easy target.

6. What type of person will your baby be?

I went to school with a great kid name Fabio. The problem was, that romance novel heart throb with the same name that was super popular at the time was not this kid. In fact, he was the opposite of what you think of when you hear that name, and he was on the wrong end of the joke with all the boys in school, literally, just at the mention of his name. Like I said, he was such a great kid - he was smart, a great singer and actor, and genuinely nice to everyone. I often wondered if he would have had a better time in school with a different name, one that fit him better, like Liam or Oliver. Something that was still cute and different, but was a little more versatile and didn’t so quickly conjure up a specific image of who that person was “supposed” to be. And some names just have that quality. For example, the popular and totally rad name Axel. It’s a cool name, like, really cool. If your kid is into music or super athletic, this may be the badass, perfect fit of a name for your baby. But what if your kid is the bookish type with two left feet? Let me make it clear, there’s nothing wrong with that at all (that pretty much sums me up!), but the juxtaposition may make it stand out in a way you never intended.

7. Is it Gender Neutral?

Gender neutral names have gained in popularity recently and it makes me so happy! Not only does it help the rest of the world keep from putting your child in a box (kind of like the what I mentioned in number 6), but it’ll help your child should they be trans, non-binary, or gender nonconforming. I like the idea of setting my kids up with a name that could fit anyone of any gender as a way to show my support for whoever they want to be from the day they are born. A gender neutral baby name can help give your child a clean slate to be whoever they are, without setting them up with certain expectations.

8. Does it go with your other favorite names?

One of my best friends swore up and down that she only wanted one child when we were in our early 20s. Cut to 15-ish years later and she just had her 4th baby. She loves nothing more than parenting, and she quickly revised her number after having her first baby. She told me she loves nothing more than the sound of children running around the house, laughing and making memories. She set the bar high with an adorable and very specific name for her first child. The second kid had just as unique and cool of a name, which put a lot of pressure on the name of kid number 3. Ten years later (to the day, might I add!), she welcomed her fourth baby, and when she announced the name, it fit so perfectly with the rest, you’d have thought she’d planned it all along, but it was actually a last minute change that came after the 4th baby was born. When she told me the other contenders, there were some that clearly did not “fit” with the other three. While her kids names are whimsical and literary, some of the names fell into other categories (we’re taking it all the way back to tip number 1 right now) - they were trendy. They just didn’t go together. So when you land on a name you think is going to be “the one”, consider a few other names that may be “the one” for your next baby or babies.

9. Does it Suit your Baby?

This last one is for after your baby has arrived, and pulls together tips 1 through 8. I mentioned early on in this blog to have several back up names. Why? I know countless parents who were so sure they knew what they were going to name their baby, only to meet their baby and say, that totally isn’t my baby’s name! Hey, it happens to the best of us. Even Kylie Jenner recently announced she changed her baby’s name six weeks after he was born. And Amy Schumer changed her baby’s middle name a full year after he was born after someone pointed out when you said the first and middle name, it sounded, er, not like a word you want people to think of when they meet your child. My friend I mentioned in tip number 8 had this happen. She and her partner went into labor and delivery pretty sure they knew what their kid’s name would be. But after he’d arrived, their pediatrician asked the name, and when the doctor repeated it back to them out loud, they looked at each other and shook their heads. “Nope, wait, that’s not his name!” They went over a short list of their top picks, but none seemed to suit the new baby. They brought up a name that had been on a maybe list, and immediately, the realized they had the one! That’s why I strongly recommend having back up names just in case “the one” suddenly sounds more like not “the one.” And remember, if that happens to you, you can take your time naming your baby. After all, what’s in a name? Sometimes, everything.